Sunday, October 19, 2008

Edward: "I hate these." -- Meridth: "No you don't."

A classic photo for a classic "Getting to Know You"-type game.

What? Are people doing this again? I remember getting these emails in the late 1990s and before that they appeared as folded notes in study hall or the infamous chain letter. Thanks (or "Thanks." if you prefer) go out to Meridth's high school mates Jenn and Andrea for conjuring up traditions best left to moulder.

Things I Plan to Do Before I Die

1. Mer: "Visit every National Park in the US" -- Ed: "Wear a tweed suit with patches on the elbows." (Mer: "Ooh, I like those.")
2. Mer: "I wanna go back and visit my Argentine Peeps." -- Ed: "Drive through a drive-thru car wash."
3. Mer: "Live in England again." -- Ed: "Buy a Bill Watterson original Calvin and Hobbes strip."
4. Mer: "Maybe babies?" -- Ed: "Shiv a prison guard."
5. Mer: "Train circus fleas." -- Ed: "Learn to play the guitar."
6. Mer: "Publish books. Plural." -- Ed: "Find Jimmy Hoffa's body."
7. Mer: "Eat a really good steak." -- Ed: "Ditto."

7 Things I Do Now

1. Mer: "Chase RADAR, our corgi, round the house." -- Ed: "Study."
2. Mer: "Illustrate stuff." -- Ed: "Complain about studying."
3. Mer: "Peddle stuff I illustrate on the internet." -- Ed: "Work out."
4. Mer: "Walk places with my dog." -- Ed: "Complain about working out."
5. Mer: "Listen to audiobooks while painting." -- Ed: "Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction"
6. Mer: "Listen to NPR." -- Ed: "Ooh, me too! Particularly 'Wait, Wait don't tell me!'" (Mer: "Me too, me too!")
7. Mer: "Watch "The Office." -- Ed: "Not sleep enough. Does that count?"

7 Things I Can't Do

1. Mer: "Turn invisible." -- Ed: "Roll my tongue." (Mer: "I can!" [she does] Ed: "Show off.")
2. Mer: "I can't get behind libertarians. Sorry." -- Ed: "Yeah, I can't get behind unqualified politicians. Interpret that as it pleases you."
3. Mer: "I can't watch sex scenes or graphic violence in movies." -- Ed: "I can't resist a good hamburger."
4. Mer: "I can't walk on a balance beam. I will fall on my head. I will." -- Ed: "I can't not smell something stinky when someone says 'Agh! This smells terrible, here smell!' I can't not do it!"
5. Mer: "I can't grow back an arm if it's cut off." -- Ed: "I can't tell the difference between tap water in various places in the US. It all tastes the same to me."
6. Mer: "I can't hear very well out of my left ear." -- Ed: "I can't have hoped for a more affable roommate."
7. Mer: "I can't believe you just said that. That was really sweet." -- Ed: "I can't believe it's not butter."

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex

1. Mer: "Hmmm...Edward." -- Ed: "People named Meridth."
2. Mer: "The idea of no more girl-roommates ever." -- Ed: "If a girl is knowledgeable in an obscure field, like the history of furniture. Awesome o'clock!"
3. Mer: "Someone that likes art/literature/languages." -- Ed: "Short hair."
4. Mer: "Good conversations." -- Ed: "She has to have both eyes. Sorry Amazon Cyclops." (Mer: "What about four eyes?")
5. Mer: "He has to have a plan for the inevitable period when the dead rise from their graves with a vicious hunger." -- Ed: "She has to be willing to shoot me in the face in the inevitable period when the dead rise from their graves with a vicious hunger and my carefully laid plans fail spectacularly."
6. Mer: "He has to be a big fat nerd." -- Ed: [with incredible sarcasm] "She has to see me how I really am."
7. Mer: "He has to like hanging out with me cause I love hanging out with him." -- Ed: "Her stink has to be kept to manageable levels. With creams if necessary." (Mer: [laughing] "I don't stink or use creams!)

7 Things That I Say Most Often

1. Mer: "Aaaaarrrgh!" -- Ed: "Hm."
2. Mer: "What a cute pupper-poo! What a nice booooy!" -- Ed: "Oh, him's a good RADAR-pup!"
3. Mer: "What the crappy-crap?" -- Ed: "The fact of the matter is..."
4. Mer: "Sucktown, USA." -- Ed: "Lately I've been switching consonant sounds in words I say from 'voiced' (e.g. 'b' as in 'boy') to 'voiceless' (e.g. 'p' as in 'pong'), thus 'Costco' has become 'Gazdgo,' and 'supermarket' becomes 'zubermarged.' It's pretty dumb."
5. Mer: "I'd like to confuse cabbage with bok choy sir!" -- Ed: "Grrr."
6. Mer: "Where do you want to go to eat?" -- Ed: "I don't know, what do you feel like?"
7. Mer: "It doesn't matter, I want to go where you want to go." -- Ed: "Okay, is there anywhere you don't feel like going?" (et cetera, ad infinitum)

7 Celebrities I Admire (Mer: "I think admire is a strong word when applied to celebrities." Ed: "How about 'Celebrities that don't offend us grievously?'" Mer: "Okay."

1. Mer: "I like Will Shatner." -- Ed: "Dang, you stole mine. I loved his 2004 album Has Been.
2. Mer: "I like Jack Black. 'There is no charge for awesomeness...or attractiveness.'" -- Ed: Stole mine again! I'm going first next time."
3. Ed: "Simon Pegg. 'Hot Fuzz' was easily the funniest movie I've seen since...well, "Shawn of the Dead." -- Mer: "Curses! I going back to first, idea-stealer!"
4. Mer: "I like the animation director Brad Bird, known for "The Iron Giant" and "The Incredibles". -- Ed: "Good one. Wasn't mine. I like Abe Lincoln. I mean sure, he didn't make animated feature films...but he did free the slaves.
5. Mer: "Jessie Willcox Smith was like a celebrity in her day, she was among the highest paid illustrators in the Golden Age and she demanded equal pay for women artists. How cool is that?" -- Ed: I'm all about Kurt Vonnegut, pretty much.
6. Mer: Queen Elizabeth. Totally influential figure, rocketed England out of the Dark Ages, elevated her nation to a world power, defeating the most powerful navy in the world. Not bad for a lady of that time period." -- Ed: "Close, but I'm going to go with Queen Elizabeth II. I mean imagine everything she's been through since she ascended the the throne in 1952. Think of all the heads of state she's gotten to know, the Popes, the warlords, the Prime Ministers, Soviet premiers. If I could have a candid 'tell-all' interview with anyone living, it'd be her."
7. Mer: "I'm really digging the music of Amy Winehouse, the musician...not the the junky." -- Ed: "Is Superman a celeb? Kal-El rocks!"

7 Favorite Foods (I will have no problem coming up with these...)

1. Mer: "Sushi." -- Ed: "Baklava."
2. Mer: "Dolma" -- Ed: "The Turkish Kababs they sell in Austria/Germany."
3. Mer: "Anything Thai." -- Ed: "Hot and Sour Soup."
4. Mer: "Cafe Rio's Chicken Salad" -- Ed: "Meatloaf Sandwiches"
5. Mer: "A good pot roast. Yum." -- Ed: "A thick hamburger with crisp sweet pickles and crisp lettuce. Ooh, and onion!"
6. Mer: "Steak!: -- Ed: "Dried fruit!"
7. Mer: "My dad's cooking." -- Ed: "Her dad's cooking."

7 People Who Need To Do This (Ed: " I don't like the compulsory tone this question is taking with our blog's guests. I say that we don't put anyone this survey who's boss." Mer: "And I say that whoever wants to do it should do it."

1. Mer: "Anybody!" -- "Ed: Sign up today, space is limited."


redstarmama said...

Thank you for so spectacularly completing my invitation. Both of you. I'm glad you have a zombie disaster plan, living, as you do, in such close proximity to the land of the dead. Justin volunteers to cook you a really good steak. And finally, thank you for citing historical figures as celebrities. And also Kurt Vonnegut. And so it goes.

Autumn said...

This makes me miss you guys way too much! I miss talking and not talking, and snow peas etc. Curse your skinny bones for living so far away.

Tim said...

I saw William Shatner at a Barnes & Noble in New York City.

Jealous much?

andrea said...

I worked for a psychiatrist who once dated William Shatner.

Also this almost, ALMOST made me pee mypants with all the laughing. I didn't, though.

Also good thinking on the zombie survival plan. P-dog and I just have a lot of potato pearls.

Meridth Gimbel said...

Wait...was Bill Shatner there shopping? Or was he just doing a signing? If shopping: what books did he have in his hot little hands?

(PS: This question comes from Edward.)

Sharae Peterson said...

You two make me laugh I love it!!!!

betsey said...

Thought of Meridth when I saw this book on the children's book blog I read

let me know if the link doesn't work.

Meridth Gimbel said...

Jenn- Hehe, zombies.

Cricket- No... curse you.

Tim - Snob!

Andrea - What are potato pearls? (I'm I missing something?)

Sharae- Awwww. Miss you

Betsey- Gold mine!!! I heart that design. Thanks for thinking of me in respects to something that's amazing!

(This IS from Meridth)

Tim said...

Old Willy (he likes when I call him that) just happened to be finishing up a book signing gig at the B&N when we ran into each other. We went out for drinks and karaoke and caught up with each other after that. He's such a swell guy. That kid's got potential.

(So to answer your so happened that I got there just as he was finishing the book signing [total coincidence]. he was riding down the escalator while I rode up on the opposite side. He didn't have any books in hand. That was the extent of my encounter with pure energetic greatness. But seriously, it's always so disappointing how small and human-like celebrities are in real life)

Meridth Gimbel said...

I just like you Tim. (Even if celebrities are "life-sized")

Angel said...

We miss you!

Meridth Gimbel said...

We miss you too!!!!! :(

Andersons said...

You guys are too funny!

Kate said...

YOu 2 are so freakin' cute!!!

Megs said...

This is the best one of these crappy things I've ever read. You make it cool. You are cool like The Fonz.

Sara said...

Wow! I can't wait to experience this witty banter in person! I'll be there the weekend of Dec. 6th:) Puppy!