Special Guest Post: RADAR

Alright. I admit it. I'm jealous. I used to be the center of the universe. But no, that round lump of a baby ruined everything for me.

Can I help it that she does this twinkle toes thing whenever someone lays her on the floor?



I mean... she just does this and they start talking about how cute she is and how fun she is.

She can even hold those stick things with her opposable thumbs. (Show off).

Yeah. I'm pretty jealous. How could I not be?

Especially when she seems to be rubbing it in.

Oh well.

Uschi Day + 3!

I'm turning into one of those new parents who posts every single picture ever taken of their child. Yuk! But since a lot of people have asked about the grim and gritty details of the labor and all that, I thought I'd chime in to correct any of the inaccuracies Meridth has perpetrated in phone conversation. It's not that Meridth is dishonest, just forgetful. The story is correct in broad strokes but I think I can improve on the sequence of events.



So on Tuesday night I had to conduct at the local cub scout pack meeting. It was a good time and I brought Meridth along because of her advanced state of pregnancy. Meridth had been feeling random contractions throughout the day and we thought that it might happen that day. We did go in Sunday night because Meridth was leaking some fluid that we thought might be amniotic in nature, so we wanted to be cautious. After the scout meeting on the way home I bought Meridth a frozen delectable from the 31 Flavors (which she ended up throwing up two hours later) and we started writing down the contraction times. 8:17, 8:22, 8:27, 8:31 they were getting to be exactly five minutes apart. By 9pm we called the Birthing Center at the hospital and they asked Meridth about her birth plan. Meridth was non-ideologically interested in having a natural birth (just to see what that was all about) so they told us it would be best to wait until she couldn't stand it anymore before coming in.

It was exactly at 10:54 that Meridth decided she couldn't stand it anymore. I called the Birthing Center and grabbed the last bits and bobs we needed and by 11:06 we were on our way. Now I wasn't entirely sure we were going to have Uschi that night because we were still about two weeks out from the due date so I called my work and let the know I probably wouldn't be in the next day.



At the hospital we were taken to one of the birthing rooms and Meridth sat on the bed and had everything checked. And I put Tim Burton's Beetlejuice in the DVD player. Tuesday morning Meridth had seen the doc and he had said she was only dilated to a 1.5 so she still had some distance left to go before 10. Since Meridth had been suffering since 8pm, we figured she'd be up to at least a four. No dice, the nurse said she was only dilated to a two. Boo to that. Fortunately Dr. Walker was coming by for another patient at about half-past eleven so he peeked his head in, noticed Meridth's very regular contractions (like you could set your watch by them) and said we probably shouldn't go back home tonight. Just to speed things along he also decided to break Meridth's water.

And speed things along it did. We had 8cm to go until 10 dilation was reached and the doctor estimated that would take until 8am Wednesday morning, about a centimeter an hour. In fact, Meridth was fully dilated by 4am! But to go along with that speed, Meridth had to endure pretty intense contractions. By maybe 12:35 she asked for her first 'hit' and the nurses gave her a med designed to relax the mother and treat the anxiety more holistically. This was not even close to enough. By one in the morning, Meridth graduated to local injected anesthesia but only a single contraction went by before Meridth said "Y'know? I'm ready for an epidural." That wife of mine doesn't mess about.



So the anesthesiologist rolls in and we sign the forms saying that it's okay if Meridth dies from it and Meridth is sitting up and I'm in front of her and all I can think about is how much I want to see this huge needly-thing injected into my wife's spine, but I don't want to get in the way. I'm very interested in the dirty details of medical procedures, but in this case I had to settle with the salad-plate sized blood stain when the doc was finished taping all the kit down onto Meridth's back.

Anyway the epidural made my wife as happy as a clam who suffers from uncomfortable numbness and manageable pain (the sort of clam with a decent HMO) and she was able to doze for about an hour before the pushing started. Me and Meridth were ready and refreshed for round two. 5am! Fully dilated! Ready to push! We went at it for a half-hour then the nurse gave us permission to rest again. And by 5:45 the Dr. Walker showed up for the main event. Pushing pushing pushing pushing pushing pushing pushing! Curl up toward the fetus! Push were my fingers are! PUSH!

And just like that I started seeing a tennis-ball sized hairy lump appear from points unknown. Hmmmmm... I thought to myself, that's a real small head for a full-term baby. And suddenly Ka-boom! There was her head! I'd only seen the point of her little cone-head, so it looked smaller coming out that way. It was pretty out-there.

So the shoulders. And the rest. And the placenta. And there it all was.



When the doc was stitching up Meridth she started saying, "Uhhh...should I be feeling that?" Turns out that the tip of the epidural had worked itself out despite all the tape and what-not. So the doc tore it off and left it on the floor and treated the stitchy-region locally. Dr. Walker's pretty sure that it came out before the major pushing started so you could say that Uschi was born naturally. If you were so inclined.

Now you might be wondering why Uschi was in the hospital for two whole nights. I guess she had a poo on her way out that morning and had swallowed some of it, which wasn't good for her digestion. So throughout that first Wednesday she was burping up black bile. Late that night she had her innards suctioned out and the next day we just checked her diapers for the right colored poo. Friday at about noon the stars aligned and the poo-colors were spot on and we went home.



RADAR has been so good with the baby, it's pretty amazing. He's been mellow but curious about his new sister and has gained an undisclosed amount of weight while he was hanging out with the neighbors. What a great dog!

And that is that great friends! Thanks for all the millions of metric tons of support you have given us in the last ten months and we wouldn't dare have a baby in a world without people like you. Pat yerselves on the back!

BREAKING NEWS: Bath time for RADAR II: The Stinkening

RADAR got skunked tonight.

We got him in the bath in about 90 seconds and before the two-minute mark were dumping V8 all over the poor pup. We had no pure tomato juice on hand so we made due. Lets just say that RADAR wasn't a fan and I wasn't too thrilled about scraping the thick bits out of his fur, but...most importantly, it seems to have worked moderately well. I'm a little skunky, the living room has a certain degree of skunkiness and if you get up in RADAR's grill, you'll detect some skunk, but all in all a vast improvement.

We'll keep you posted.

Eunuch Dog

So dear Radar got neutered about 2 weeks ago. I have to say being a dog must suck. Radar really likes going on rides with us because to him that means something really neat is going to happen. Like a walk on the beach or hanging out with his dog buddies at the park. But of course when I took him to the vet it was all very different. That is to say he got to hang out with some interesting looking people and some pretty nervous looking dogs. It seemed exciting anyway. That is until he woke up from his nap and realized that his manhood was snipped off. It was pretty painful the first few days, but the worst was that dreaded humiliating collar. Not only did he look absolutely foolish, but it was impossible not to scrape the collar on the floor because of how incredibly short his legs are in comparison to the "normal" width" of his neck. In addition to that, he kept bumping into things because he wasn't use to the width of this huge plastic thing. Anyway in celebration of his BIRTHDAY today (one year old) were taking the thing off and he's going to eat delicious scraps from the table.

Fall/Winter Ketchup

So we know what you've practically gnawed your fingers to the very bone wondering and wondering about what's been going on in the 'nuts an' bolts' section of our portfolio. I mean we've posted posts pertaining to a number of perfectly timely events, such as the release of stop-motion animated films and...well I guess that's been about it in the last few months. What can I say? Meridth gets excited.

Oh yeah, I guess we posted about that baby thing too.

Anyway, they had Halloween last year; I don't know if you remember. We went to a super keen party with some mates of ours and were subsequently whupped in a make-shift costume contest, although I'd say we did alright, time-constraints notwithstanding. What could we do? One couple was dressed up as Popeye and Olive Oyl. Can you say pwned?I went as a nerd. (I know! Huge stretch of the imagination, that!) Note the dragon tee and Vorpal Sword +3. Not pictured are the specs I'm sporting. Guess I should have turned down the AWESOME on that cowl of mine so you could see it. Meridth went as an Edo Period Samurai. Note the historical accuracies: purple was a very very popular color in those days. And when the fashion conscious samurai was without his obi belt, a polka-dotted scarf from the Gap would have been a suitable substitute.

So pumpkins:
that's mine on the left. It wasn't a good Halloween for me I guess cos I also got whupped it the highly ritualized and traditional pumpkin carving contest. Meridth's pumpkin was brill...
...particularly at night. But then again......the other Meridth's pupmkin was almost equally wicked. Tha's right: in the time it took me to paint and carve that crappy Jack Skellington-meets-a-'97-Goth-convention train-wreck, Meridth carved two turbo-cool pumpkins. I lose.

Next: AQUARIUM DAY!

Monterey is home to Monterey Bay. (Or maybe it's the other way around, but...) And Monterey Bay is home to Monterey Bay Marine Preserve. And because of the Monterey Bay Marine Preserve they built the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Which is the location Meridth and I went on the second Saturday of November last year. Pretty rad.

How rad you ask?This rad. Oh, unconvinced? What would you say to...

...footage of cute roly-poly otters?

What?! Have you no heart? What about......still photos of a roly-poly young fish enthusiast? Meridth is really good at taking surreptitious photographs of innocent bystanders. She's like a hitman with a 6-megapixel handgun.

Anyway, that was way fun and I could post boat-loads of pictures about it. I won't. Suffice it to say that the otters were ultra-cute, the jellyfish were stunning and the sharks were really rather intimidating. The day's only down point came as a small booth were they told us about the unethical behavior displayed in the commercial tuna fishing market. Serious bummer cos I love a tuna sandwich.

What's next...uh...T.giving!
Meridth's super-cool team came up and down from sundry CA locales for a veritable bender of game-play......and...uh...other hijinks.

RADAR was pretty much in hog-heaven. Between my brother-in-law's gnarly toes and Nick slipping him random bits of bird-flesh all weekend, we turned into the biggest McKean Fan around.

Up next: musing on silent films.

So we all knew that Meridth was cool. I mean, she's been pulling-off those Tina Fey glasses since the Clinton Administration. Then along comes the Lon Chaney classic "The Unknown" in a NetFlix envelope one afternoon and I finally get it: Meridth is the coolest gal ever. There. I said it.

Now watch out what you read about this movie before you spool it up on your DVD device. A well-placed spoiler will do just that--spoil a great moment in the history of celluloid. (Since y'know, I know you guys all dash out of your houses like gang-busters to snatch up all the books, movies, comics, vacation pamphlets, candy bars and dinner rolls we suggest to you. Gosh, it's great to have minions like you!) That said, it bears mentioning that 1) the movie is about an armless knife-thrower in a freak show. 2) It ends with horses trying to dash a man to bits. And 3) the choices made in the movie are just so eerie and narratively fitted and fan-freaking-tastic that you'll just want to proselytize for the film; to get out and talk with people about it, get it out there for people. Wow!

Chistmas rolled in about two weeks after we saw The Unknown. It was a rather low-key affair this year since we just hung out here with RADAR and an XBOX 360. Meridth and I have been adapting various British Christmas traditions into our oeuvre. THis year we tracked down some classic Christmas Crackers (pictured below) so we got some schmarmy cereal-box-bottom toys, a snap of gunpowder and wrinkly paper crowns. Yeah. Go England. Way to celebrate. Ours sadly didn't state on the packaging that they were "awesome." We had to come to that conclusion on our own. Which we did, shorly before snapping this candid at about 12:07 AM Christmas morning.(Oh what?! Yeah? We were still up that late on Christmas Eve. Yeah, we opened our presents 'on' Christmas...it was after twelve anyway...who are you to judge? We had a busy day, alright? Those zombies on Dead Rising weren't going to kill themselves. Seriously!)

Seriously? Are you bored yet? Is this entry too long? Look, it's late and since we're pretty sucky at ketchup maneuvers, we'll let this one end here with a "to be continued" thingy. Maybe invoke a bit of a Zeigarnik Effect. Yeah. Look THAT one up...

End transmission.

Bath Time for RADAR!

Today we had a nice long walk downtown with RADAR but about halfway through it started raining! Well, the mud and dirt just caked on a dog this low-to-the-ground so we had to fight back.



What a punk!

Split Open and Melt

So I went to the SCBWI Conference (for Children's Book writers and illustrators) last weekend. It was fantastic! If you guys are interested in more details, feel free to visit my art blog. It was pretty exhausting and so very nice to be back with Edward and Radar. So we've had Radar for a little over a month and he's 15 weeks old. (So cute!) I thought I'd give you all a taste of what we've been living with:

Radar has the squattiest legs ever so it's taken us awhile to figure out his doggy gestures (like when he's doing his business... we pretty much can't see it... which can be a problem when you are potty training). Anyway, here's Radar ready to pounce on Edward.


Radar sometimes just starts speedily chasing himself around the house. It's pretty hilarious. I've been trying really hard to catch it on video but he usually stops when I pull it out. So here's a more mellow version of Radar's hyperactivity.



So apparently Corgi's ears pop up within the first 6 months. Cute little Radar had one ear pop up before the other.



He had his other ear pop up last weekend when I was gone... ok cheesy as it sounds it felt like he took his first steps without me. This is part of the "17 Mile Drive" in Monterey... so beautiful!


Here's one with Radar "smiling".
(I love our family :)

DATELINE: MONTEREY, CA!

Chapter 1: Quid pro quo



Meet Lilly's new cousin RADAR. He's a Pembrooke Welsh Corgi and he's 10 weeks old. Meridth and I have been wanting and wanting a dog for months and months. We found a website for a breeder not too far away and realized that we weren't in the "reasonable financial circumstances" to buy a purebred, champion-sired Corgi. So we haunted the pounds and shelters, looked and looked for bargain-basement puppies but came up nil. In desperation Meridth emailed the breeder and asked if we could arrange for a monthly payment plan. After receiving the email, the breeder (see her website here) clicked onto Meridth's website and fell in love with Meridth's art. So a trade was arranged. We get a handsome young pup and she gets a unique logo to spruce up her website. Win-win!
Note his cute-as-can-be long squatty body and foxy, intelligent head. He is one handsome bloke. Plus we got just about the mellowest dog ever. After just a little tummy-ache on the four-hour drive home, he spent the whole trip cuddling or sleeping. And I still haven't heard him bark. We've got ourselves a wicked good training book and we've already started to work on walking him on a lead. Seriously though, he 's not going to need much training he's so chill. Anyway, with the four-day week-end just warming up, we're going to train him up to be we smartest dog in town. Yep. Best. Puppy. Ever.


Chapter 2: Movie Review -- Hancock

Who remembers 2000's Unbreakable? Setting aside the director's follies of late, (Mer and I have decided against seeing his latest, the vaguely titled The Happening. We'll save that for Netflix.) Unbreakable was a movie that deconstructed the superhero genre and the modern conceptualization of what it means to be a hero. This was the sort of context wanted out of Hancock, the sort of meta-level questions I wanted the film to examine. Plus with Will Smith, I figured I'd get charm and humor for my $8 in the mix. No such luck.

The movie opens pretty much where the trailer does: Will Smith is a jerk superhero who fights crime. Fine. That's what I came for. The film adds Jason Bateman and a miscast Charlize Theron into the mix as the PR guy trying to change Hancock's image and his wife who is strangely interested in Hancock, just like in the trailer. Hancock goes to jail for his destructive heroism where he inserts one inmate's head into the rectum of another (just as advertised) and finally is released after the city realizes how much they need him, while he simultaneously realizes how much he needs them, and foils a high-tech bank robbery, just like the trailer promised us. Maybe I missed it, had a nap or a long blink, but that movie ended and this odd second movie started. I don't wish to reveal over much about this disjointed and goofy second movie, but it kinda poops all over the first movie. Everything that the first movie almost touched on (i.e. the loneliness of power, the expectations of heroes realistic and otherwise, the jealously of the powerless, the cult of celebrity) is tossed to the side. "Oh." I thought while watching the second half "Hancock isn't lonely and self-destructive because he has deep unfulfilled needs vis-a-vis his hero-status, it's because of X." (where X=the near dues ex machina that passes for a 'plot-twist'). In sum, the movie's awesome potential was wrecked by a ridiculously muddled narrative thread and bad bad badbad writing.

Grade: C-

Chapter 3: Everything else.

Things are okay everywhere else. School is tough. Meridth's art improves daily. Monterey is gorgeous.